Lesson 30 - Perimenopause and Money

If you read the word perimenopause and you lost your breath, I get it. 

Struggling with my perimenopause is something that has been one of the biggest struggles I have faced so far in life so far. 1000% worse than when I got sober, and that was hard. That gives you an idea of what it might feel like. My symptoms have been as little as insanely itchy ears and extreme as blood clots and mastitis. Yes, you read that right. After an extreme hormone rush I struggled with mastitis, and NO I was NOT breastfeeding. 

There are days I don’t recognize myself. I have no idea who the person’s body I am in. A few days later after an extreme moment I think who the f*ck was that!? 

If you are a woman in perimenopause, I see you. 

The way perimenopause has also affected my money has been mind boggling, just to add ANOTHER layer on the journey. 

I live in Canada so I am really privileged when it comes to our healthcare overall, but I haven’t felt that way about my perimenopause journey. 

The medical side of my perimenopause has been paid out of pocket for me as I have had to advocate for myself and the one person who truly listened and understood was my naturopath. I am forever grateful for her. I paid for many appointments with her, supplements prescribed by her and then alternative care like acupuncture etc to try to help support me. 

At first when I started this journey I went to my dr to talk to her about my hot flashes and my extreme cycles. She told me to go outside as it’s cooler out there. Yep, my dr told me to go OUTSIDE to deal with my hot flashes. It was super helpful advice (insert sarcasm here). I think it’s also important to note that my dr is a female. 

After sharing my journey with others I was often told that in medical schools dr’s only get approximately 1 hour of their education on menopause/perimenopause. What!?! 

It’s so hard that we have such a short window of time with our dr’s to share about what is going on and then for them not to have much to tell us makes it even harder. 

This is where the money part comes in. 

Life felt so out of control with my hormones, cycles, hot flashes, mood swings, dysphoria just to name a few things I knew the advice of “just go outside” was not going to support me. 

This is when I started to look about going to a naturopath and quickly learned that this was going to be very hard on my wallet. I knew that I needed to do this for myself. Having the experience I have had with money has led me to a place to understand that when I need to spend money on things to support me I have to give myself the permission to do so and not let the shame of the cost take over. This was so hard for a long time. As time has gone on in my Financial Sobriety it has become MUCH easier. 

When I went to see the naturopath it took a few sessions to really get to a plan of what to do as I also had to pay for some bloodwork to get a baseline. In saying this I could have probably gone to my dr and asked for the testing but the barrage of questioning of why felt like too much for me. 

Once we had an idea of what to do we made a plan with the supplements. 

The supplements are costly. I was trying so hard not to let anger take over as I knew if the traditional medical system would support me then prescribed meds would be covered with my husband's benefit plan. Nope, I was paying out of pocket. 

I started to take a synthetic version of progesterone as I had already had a blood clot when I was taking the birth control pill so I was really leery of taking any hormones. I was desperate though so I tried it. Got another blood clot. At this point I declared my hormones were at war within myself, it was rough. 

The natural supplements were somewhat supporting me but not to the point where things felt easy by any means. I continued to see the naturopath and we tried a few different things but my hormones kept prevailing. 

When I developed mastitis and after many appointments with specialists (thankfully the medical system stood up to the plate for that, sucks that it has to be extreme to be supported) the conclusion was made that a large hormone fluctuation caused the mastitis.

Between the blood clots and mastitis hormones replacement therapy could never be a part of my journey and I will be on blood thinners for life. 

Great. 

The journey continues with so many more things that I will spare you the details of but overall the cost of it all has been overwhelming at times. Supplements, naturopath, acupuncture, therapy. 

Super grateful I have been in a position where I have been able to pay for it (well some went on credit for awhile because I couldn’t keep up and had to keep releasing that shame). 

• What do women do who can’t afford someone who will actually listen?
• How far do we have to go to advocate so that we get support without having to pay out of pocket just for someone to listen to them? 
• How can we advocate for ourselves to a medical system that doesn’t even understand menopause/perimenopause? 
• When will services be available to women for no cost to help support something that happens to 100% of women?

Unfortunately this is capitalism at it’s finest. This is where money can feel really unfair and anger can start to take over. I get it. That’s why I think it’s important to talk about. 

In hindsight when I started this journey 8 years ago (and freaking still going) I wish that I had advocated for myself more with my dr, even if it was to get the tests done that my naturopath needed and I didn’t pay out of pocket for everything. 

The system has us as women scared, especially when we don’t even recognize ourselves in the face of perimenopause. We don’t know in those moments how to stand up for what we need in an extremely oppressive system. It’s rough. 

My journey is hard still. I am heading back to my naturopath next month after not seeing her for a bit. I have actually been in a state of feeling like a victim and that this will never get better. To the other side I have a call with my gynecologist on Friday to see the options for hysterectomy/ovary removal because I’m exhausted. The removal of my uterus and ovaries feels extreme and to be honest this all has felt EXTREME. I wouldn’t wish what I have gone through to my worst enemy (I don’t have those anymore, yay sobriety, but if I did I don’t wish it on them). 

If this is your journey, I see you. I hear you. I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard financially. Advocate as much as you can and if you can’t do it maybe a friend or loved one can help you do it. We shouldn’t have to pay astronomical amounts of money to go through a stage of life that 100% of women experience. 

Our system needs to do better. 

All the money love sent your way,

Linda Parmar
Financial Sobriety Expert