Lesson 33 - How to navigate Financial Sobriety during the holidays.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…or is it? 

What I know for sure is that it is the time of year where you are getting slammed for Black Friday sales (already!?) and the holidays are being pushed down your throat and you might be ready to go and hide until January. 

Sounds about right?! I thought so. 

If you know me you know that I love the holidays. To be clear though, I do not like the capitalism and present pushing that happens during this time of year. 

Saw the perfect meme of how I feel about the holidays are here it is: 

I celebrate Christmas so the meme feels good to me, but you could also switch our for “holidays aren’t a season, they are a feeling”. 

The holidays were always a really special time for me. It was also a hard time for me.

As I grow older I know that focusing on what FEELS good is exactly what I need for the holidays. The thing that makes me feel the best? Christmas lights. THE BEST. I could have had a super hard day and I could sit on my couch in the evening, turn off all the lights but the Christmas lights and feel so content and grounded. The Christmas tree twinkling and my decorations. My happy place. 

Keeping it simple is key during this time of year. 

Simplicity is what the focus is for the steps I am recommending this year to navigate your Financial Sobriety during the holiday season. 

Here they are: 

• Give yourself permission to keep it simple: 

It’s okay to skip traditions that no longer feel good or downsize the holiday expectations. Your holiday season doesn’t need to look picture perfect for instagram or any other reason. You get to define what your holiday season looks like. What would a simple holiday season to help support your stress levels look like?

When we prioritize our overall mental health this is what supports our Financial Sobriety. If we are stressed out, our spending will reflect this.

• Set Financial Sobriety boundaries: 

You actually probably don’t even need to buy half the things you think you SHOULD buy.

Sometimes we feel pressured to spend money we don’t have or don’t want to spend.

It is okay to set spending boundaries! You could let family and friends know in advance you are simplifying your gift-giving this year and prioritizing your Financial Sobriety. You might even find that others feel relief when you put spending boundaries in place, this will give them an opportunity to practice sober spending!

• Focus on self compassion: 

Holidays bring up a lot of comparison and pressure, so this is a time to show yourself some grace.

We can be so hard on ourselves with our money, and the inner critic can get really loud during the holiday season. How can you talk kind to yourself during this time?

Kristin Neff does beautiful work with self compassion and this is a great resource where she walks you through how to support yourself with self compassion:

https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion

• Keep connected to your emotions: 

Emotions run high at this time of year.

Overspending, compulsive spending, impulse spending can often happen when we are trying to numb our feelings.

Sober spending happens when we are conscious, present, mindful and plan our spending.

It is inevitable that you may have uncomfortable feelings and practicing self compassion with these feelings will help support you. The holidays can be extremely triggering that bring out maladaptive coping skills like overspending. Be present with your feelings, feel them, journal, breathe and make the next right decision.

• Get clear on how you want to feel: 

How can this year FEEL different?

How can you make the holidays a feeling instead of a stressful event?

Write down an emotion you WANT to feel this holiday season. From there write down 3 action steps you can take to feel this.

• Create a holiday spending plan: 

Financial Sobriety focuses a lot on your mental health and money but of course we need to include how to make a holiday spending plan.

Here are some main components to include in planning your spending:

• Set realistic expectations of who you are buying for.
• Determine how much you have to realistically spend this year.
• Practice presence over presents, experiences over “stuff”.
• Have conversations with your loved ones setting expectations.
• Plan shopping the sales after making your shopping list.
• Practice mindfulness to create the presence for sober spending.
• Track your holiday spending to ensure you don’t go over your spending plan.
• Celebrate your spending wins!

If you feel like you need extra suppor this holiday season please reach out! I am hosting a Holiday Spending Support Group that will be meeting from November 18 - Decseive my digital course which walks you through the 10 steps of creating a holiday spending plan with a template to plan your spending and track your spending. 

Sign up here: https://www.lindaparmar.com/holidayspendingsupportgroup

Stay present, stay mindful, honour your emotions, enjoy the twinkling lights and stay financially sober this holiday season. Sending you so much love to you and your family this holiday season.

Linda xo